About Us

Meet the fox. Read the reviews. Ask the questions.

What the customers say

All testimonials are invented, like everything else here.

"I invested everything and got a lovely PDF."Totally Real Customer, Probably

"10/10, would be confused again."A Guy Named Todd

"I came for a grift and left with a laminated business card. Ten out of ten."Gary, Probably Real

"They told me to 'trust the process.' I asked which process. They hung up."A Satisfied Intern

"Diamond hands, paper plan. Still holding. Not sure what."HODLer_4000

"I asked wen lambo. They sent a very nice lanyard."Chad, Allegedly

"Would not grift again, but would absolutely generate again."Karen from the Group Chat

Meet the CEO

Our leadership is a fox. We don't want to talk about how that happened.

Foxworth, an illustrated fox in a mustard three-piece suit with his fingers steepled.

Foxworth P. Grift III

Chief Executive Opportunist

Foxworth founded Grift Tank LLC after realizing that thinking up schemes is easier than doing real work. Enjoys steepled fingers, vague titles, and long walks away from accountability.

[email protected] · Response time: eventually. Replies may include the word "synergy."

FAQ

Frequently Asked, Mostly Dodged.

What does GRIFT stand for?

The Global Research Institute for Forward Thinking. It's a real acronym for a fake institute, which is the most respectable kind.

How do I contact Grift Tank?

Email our CEO, Foxworth P. Grift III, at [email protected]. He reads everything, eventually. You can also follow us on X at @grifttank, where we post nothing of value, and on YouTube at @grifttankllc, where we upload even less, and on Instagram at @grifttank, where we post pictures of nothing.

Is this real?

No. Grift Tank LLC is a joke among friends. It makes up ridiculous, cartoonish schemes for laughs. It will not help you scam an actual person and we'd like you to be a delight instead.

Are you registered as an LLC?

We're an LLC the way a paper hat is a crown. Legally, we are vibes.

Can I invest?

You can invest a minute of your day in clicking the big yellow button. Returns are measured in groans.

Who are the Tank fellows?

Our Fellows are the think tank's resident experts, and they review every proposal. Sometimes four. Sometimes eleven. Occasionally seven, and one of them is a hooded figure nobody hired. The number changes every review and nobody has ever explained why, including HR. They're all fictional, they have strong opinions and no authority, and they never agree, which is the only sustainable research model we've found.

Is it a fish tank or a think tank?

Think tank. It's right there in the name, next to the Institute. The fish is on staff as a researcher, and the tank is where we keep the ideas fresh. (The ideas are also fish.)

My grift was really good. Can I submit it?

Tell your friends. They're the board.